How Can I Be Happier – Unlocking Happiness
Are you unhappy? Or, do you think you are happy. As we approach life, we intend to make it simpler and happier. For most, this desire never materializes, especially when children enter the scene. So just where did it all go wrong? What do you do about it?
Everything that we perceive originated as sensory stimulation. The information enters our senses, and it confronts our brains so as to make sense of it, by applying some context. When these stimuli enter the brain, they are related to our bank of knowledge and subconscious programming. A hot foot will instinctively drive an individual to move – quickly. Seeing a beautiful woman may elicit arousal or magnetically attract one’s attention. It is through awareness that we may direct our brains to absorb as much raw information as possible, so as to build a case for the conclusion with ample evidence.
What individuals fail to realize until far too late in life is that happiness is not the default. We do not, necessarily, have to find happiness in a grand search as in the ever elusive holy grail. But it does need to be found by one’s brain. Individuals may perceive the same raw information with a negative or positive connotation, never understanding why it is impulsive. I find that a considerable amount of individuals actively resist the want or need to become happier, as it implies a need to change or alter one’s behaviors, thoughts, and actions. Many feel that they are who or what they are, and they are just victims in the game of life. Their level of happiness is determined to be how well things are coming their way. Individuals will often indicate a desire to be happier and concomitantly resist any advice that requires self-reflection I insist that personal responsibility for one’s happiness has not been abdicated, but likely was never thought to be in their control. Instead of changing one’s lens through which they view and relate stimuli to, individuals desire the world to change so that it may conform to one’s idealization of happiness.
Change or newness is almost always uncomfortable to an individual. Even the idea of being happier by only changing one’s sunglasses would likely draw a tremendous amount of self-resistance. Their world view is seen as innate – it is what it is. As a result, individuals hold firm to their definitions of right, wrong, good and evil. Like scratches on the lens, beauty may never be witnessed. The adage rings true: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Counseling (namely for marriage) has very little statistical success, especially in the long term. Professionals can know everything there is to the human mind, yet fail to engender self-happiness in a client. Why? Individuals don’t want to be happy, as happiness and how it is achieved are so misunderstood, universally. The mere thought of needing to change is often seen as a defeat or being criticized. The duality of pursuing happiness is that it requires one to face challenges and negativity. It seems to many to be a contradiction. What one must differentiate between is the pathway to and happiness itself. When individuals change how they perceive the world and better the manner in which obstacles are overcome, and invariably, increase their total level of happiness. Just as a driver has to travel to arrive at their destination, one must participate on the road to happiness to get there. As one travels a long distance to arrive at the ultimate destination, they must make a number of stops along the way. Each stop is incrementally closer to the final destination. Once one when sets out to participate on the road towards happiness, they will arrive at locations that are ever happier, from (initially) 70% to 75%, etc.
There are some self-limiting beliefs and perceptions that keep individuals in a state of perpetual unhappiness. No method exists that eliminates the need to confront and banish the aforementioned factors, just as one must, inevitably, encounter potholes and dangerous drivers when traveling from point A to point B. The pathway is not the point of reference. Taking this pathway is worthwhile so that we may experience the bliss that exists at our final destination. With each increase in the total level of happiness, something happens; the pathway, itself, becomes safer and more readily navigable. Concomitantly, the driver’s level of experience dramatically improves, offering quicker and safer travel. It makes little sense for one to ruminate and worry about how the path will be navigated. Impressed Insight, knowledge and experience allow it to be so. Does a Physics student surrender because they are not instantly capable of performing as a professional physicist? Of course not. They understand that knowledge and experience engender careers in physics. Those in that profession operate in a different state of mind than do college students. For some reason, this unavoidable fact never was translated to human emotional and mental well-being.
The pathway to happiness is the most worthwhile journey an individual may ever take. When we arrive at point B, the first pit stop, rewards are conferred. With an understanding of the process, individuals will soon realize the benefits of a self-perpetuating cycle that banish ever more negativity. While it does become considerably easier and more rewarding, we are never “there”, at the final destination. Once one arrives at point Z from point Y, they simply focus on recycling the letters and target a new point A, just as the Phoenix may ignite its pyre to be born anew. Whether it is learning a musical instrument or driving to a vacation spot, the same methodology applies to self-happiness, we must simply make that connection and apply the same mentality.
Thanks For Reading,