Flaccid Penis Problem?
If I can imagine one problem that can cut a man to his core, it would be him temporarily or permanently losing his sexual prowess. Luckily, this rarely happens all at once and for permanent reasons, which usually leaves behind some physically or mentally condition available for treatment to assist with the underlying problem.
In the vast majority of cases, the problem is one of mental imagination. That doesn’t mean I am saying it is necessarily of conscious volition that this man has a challenge achieving and/or maintaining an erection because there are subconscious elements to one’s conscious life that usually go unnoticed.
What I want to discuss today is the paradoxical nature of erectile dysfunction. What usually happens is the man is left in immense stress and goes to great lengths to “fix” the problem, usually to no avail. What follows the initial failure to achieve/maintain the erection is an altered mental state. The stress alone is enough to make it difficult for one to become aroused. Accompanying the stress is a tunnel-like vision on the problem, making the man unaware of how he originally was able to so effortlessly become erect and aroused.
Think about it, though, when things were going perfectly, was there ever a mental command needed to be given to the penis for it to engorge with blood and become rigid? Most likely, you enjoyed your romantic partner’s presence and it just happened. At this point, it may not seem clear how it could have ever worked, given the possible failed attempts since the original failure.
It is common for a man to focus too much of his attention on what is or is not happening to his genitalia, completely forgetting about the things he used to focus on: his partner and the experience, overall. It becomes a very forced situation and is usually one that is set up to fail, because how many individuals can truly become erect under force. And because it is considered a requirement to be aroused and erect, there is a heavy penalty for not performing.
The paradox of it is that this situation is one that is created and maintained by the mind. Think about it this way, if a man failed to achieve an erection one time and didn’t worry about it, eventually forgetting about it, there would be no self-criticism and ensuing trauma, leaving him able to perform as usual. The problem is that the man with performance anxiety is afraid to give up the fight and let things be. He already feels out of control and giving up the idea of further control leaves him feeling as if nothing will change for the better without intervention.
All of this doesn’t mean that help shouldn’t be sought out from your doctor, relationship coach, or psychologist because they are going to tell you the same thing, while making sure there isn’t a larger problem to blame. But for the common man, letting things be is exactly the solution because it removes the problem.
What I want you to do is yield control to systems that you know you never had to interfere with in the first place. Once this takes place, it becomes a lot harder to self-judge. How can you be to blame if you never were in control of it, anyway? A failed erection might just be because you are tired or stressed out. Why do we have to instantly conclude that we aren’t men or are failing in some grievous manner if we only succeed 90% of the time in becoming aroused? Does a man’s wife become aroused 100% of the time that he mentions sex? There is your answer.