5 Ways to Fall In Love Again With Your Spouse
We have all been there, at one point or another. We reached a point in our relationship in which things were just on auto-pilot. The wonderful passion and romance that characterized the first few years had waned and partners look more and more as friends and roommates. Contrary to the popular opinion, I don’t think it is ever too late to re-ignite the passion in one’s relationship.
1. Go Back to What Worked in The Beginning
We take a tremendous amount for granted in our relationships. The partner is taken for granted, and much of what they do, as well. Instead of being grateful for every act of love and act that is performed, it is likely that these have turned into expectations.
When we re-evaluate our current relationships with what persisted early on, we can self-reflect and then self-correct. The strong and passionate love can only exist when partners are giving to the relationship in a mutual fashion. Kick-start step one by dating your partner weekly. No excuses.
2. Participate in Active Communication
Whether it is the monotony of life, work, or the relationship itself, it is common for an individual to have so much on their mind that they pay little attention to their partner’s communicative effort. This comes at a substantial cost to the partners, but mostly to the relationship. Inactive communication does not build intimacy. Inactive communication actually destroys trust and feelings of closeness.
To actively communicate, we have to put aside all of the other mental preoccupations that we have ongoing at the moment. They can wait. When we are speaking to our partner, we need to give our full attention. To maximize our participation, it is best to listen, paraphrase, and give an appropriate response, when it is warranted. Such active communication brings partners closer to each other and engenders additional and deeper communication.
3. New – The Best
It is very common to become stuck in a rut in life, and in the relationship. The source is one that is common to each. We can become set in our ways and our lives become extremely mundane, ensuring boredom. What one can do about this is to strive to do their best at every single thing that they do. One could decide to be the best at cutting the grass, putting an incredible attention to detail that before never existed. When one washes the dishes, they can put forth an attention to detail that leaves the dishes, sink and kitchen in immaculate condition. These efforts can be applied to everything in life. To kick-start this step, look at every action that you perform routinely and actively decide to be the best at it that you can possibly be.
4. Give Love
This coincides with what I said about relationships being taken for granted, which degrades passion and intimacy. We can not only turn this around, but we can experience love that was previously thought to be impossible or unrealistic. To do this we start giving love. To give love, we send it, and it is not to return. True love is without conditions. It does not need to be reciprocated, although with this mindset, it will be. To kick-start this step, immediately go to your partner (or via text) and tell them just how much you love them and how much you appreciate them. No excuses. If the disconnection in the relationship is more severe, their response might not be fantastic. Keep in mind that it takes time to re-establish trust, passion and intimacy, in these cases. Remember, it is a gift.
5. Never Give Negativity
This will seem like an incredibly lofty and unrealistic goal to set. It is not. The most difficult thing you can do is give negativity to your partner. Why? You are punished every single day after you give negativity. You are punished with a relationship that lacks passion and intimacy. It can feel that negativity is warranted in the heat of the moment and it can feel that they must understand feel bad or sorry for something that they have done. However, if this worked, then it would work for your relationship. I assure you that it does not and any measurable disconnection in the relationship is proof that it does not. Practice makes the master. It will take time for this to become an easy habit. Remember, partners are teammates, not enemies.